Keeping a campus safe and successful can be daunting at times. Several years ago, I broke up a fight between two girls. Of course there was hair flying, screaming, scratching and heaven help us if we get caught in the middle trying to break it up.
When the girls finally got to my office, of course they came in individually or there may have been another fight in my office. I asked each how the fight got started. They both had the same story.
Girl one informed me that it started in the library when girl two was looking at her. She said, “Miss she was lookin’ at me so I started lookin’ at her. ‘Cause she can’t just be lookin’ at me. The bell rang and we were walkin’ down the hall and she started lookin’ at me again. So, I started lookin’ at her. My friend said let’s go, so we went to class. After class there she was again lookin’ at me. So I just threw it down. She can’t just be lookin’ at me.”
I wanted to hear Girl Two’s side of the story. I called her in. Girl Two. I was expecting to hear another version of the story. Girl Two said, “She was lookin’ at me. You know Miss. She can’t look at me.”
The whole fight was about “lookin’ at me.” They received the appropriate punishment along with six weeks of sessions with the social and conflict management counselor on campus.
I am glad to say I had a good counselor and the girls learned to accept the fact that people may look at you from time to time for various reason.
I had to wonder as I went through the rest of the day, who was “lookin’ at me” and how do they interpret what they see?